he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
