Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
