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Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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