Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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  (781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s
  Replies (17) Good night (3393) Bad night (643)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (129236) Bad night (3408)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

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  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (1053) Bad night (2727)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (12747) Bad night (1757)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4298) Bad night (1085)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

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  (541): Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/0c84
  Replies (10) Good night (3994) Bad night (784)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2894) Bad night (1034)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (3100) Bad night (922)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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  (469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6
  Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (696)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (525)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."

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  (309): You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that." http://tfl.nu/6ywd
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (378)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

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  (603): so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me. http://tfl.nu/37lj
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (888)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.

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  (414): What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess. http://tfl.nu/j346
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (995)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (5) Good night (1275) Bad night (451)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka

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  (515): Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/yw8u
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (279)

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