Only a mothe r could love this liver
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his