Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  that probably didn't help your case.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing. (1-810): that probably didn't help your case. http://tfl.nu/4tll
  Replies (14) Good night (1553) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id
  Replies (39) Good night (15520) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1340) Bad night (7741)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones! http://tfl.nu/aql1
  Replies (72) Good night (6621) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined..... http://tfl.nu/yuuz
  Replies (13) Good night (864) Bad night (4460)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet http://tfl.nu/l7er
  Replies (7) Good night (1598) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too http://tfl.nu/f6yj
  Replies (7) Good night (790) Bad night (2607)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (656) Bad night (1533)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt
  Replies (12) Good night (3245) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis. http://tfl.nu/imc2
  Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward? http://tfl.nu/adfm
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (214)

Randomize