Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.