my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
