Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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