Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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