hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
