you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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