I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
