WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
