That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.