Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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  (805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu http://tfl.nu/ucad
  Replies (12) Good night (7336) Bad night (743)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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  (334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9
  Replies (24) Good night (2273) Bad night (554)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.

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  (206): He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears. http://tfl.nu/u9sm
  Replies (20) Good night (2038) Bad night (3476)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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  (412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf
  Replies (62) Good night (7064) Bad night (968)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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  (515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx
  Replies (3) Good night (2601) Bad night (1090)
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  (916): View more from California

  I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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  (916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii
  Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (2217)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (1812)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".

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  (719): Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby". http://tfl.nu/v0w5
  Replies (14) Good night (4193) Bad night (972)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed

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  (610): If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/z6o3
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (958)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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  (708): Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kw7e
  Replies (5) Good night (402) Bad night (1362)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (818)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?

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  (309): Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else? http://tfl.nu/zqde
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (361)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.

  (714): View more from California

  I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.

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  (203): Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator. (714): I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so. http://tfl.nu/zh00
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe

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  (616): You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe http://tfl.nu/yj87
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (224)

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