so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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