I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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