Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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