I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.