is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary