wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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