My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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