so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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