Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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