There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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