You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I love you. Go after that dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
