nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
