Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
