and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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