I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
