Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize