too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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