yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
