you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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