Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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