That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
