We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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