I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have already put on my inside pants.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
