I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize