Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
