arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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