Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
