Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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