Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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