I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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