Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
