called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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