ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my being single is dangerous.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
