Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
