My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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