Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
