Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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