I think my vagina is haunted
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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