glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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