Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
