Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What a dumb baby whore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
