So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
