Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
