Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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