if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
