this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
