My liver just broke up with me...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
MIDGETS
????
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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