please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
