so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
