i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
