so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
